Sit Down, Shut Up, and Be

When you hear something enough times, you have to wonder if you are supposed to be listening.

BECOMING, 3 1/2 x 3 1/2 x 1(d), Encuastic on wood block

I've run across variations of the phrase, "Sit Down, Shut Up, and Be" randomly in the past few days.  I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to hear it.  And given that it keeps invading my thoughts while I'm choosing what to share here, I'm pretty sure you are supposed to hear it too.

(In case you are curious, the recent run-ins with this phrase came through the most recent copy of Shambhala Sun magazine and a random podcast I listened to with Krista Tippett on Being.)

I think a lot of our world's problems could be solved if our leaders would follow this advice.

But most of us aren't concerned with the world's problems as we navigate our own issues.  So let's get a bit more personal.

Whatever challenges you face in life right now: a relationship that is ending (or maybe should be), a child that won't sleep through the night (or won't come home in the night), a bank account that you try to avoid because it makes your tummy turn each time you see the decreasing balance... try taking the advice.

Just for one hour or one day, stop trying to fix it.  Stop worrying about what might happen if you don't.

As I shared on Facebook yesterday,

Stop jumping into the noise and straining to hear everyone else's answers. Step instead into the silence and listen to your own.

Just sit down.

Shut up.

And be with what is.

Who knows what you might hear.  

Namaste.

A Good Day

 What type of world does she observe?

What type of world will she observe tomorrow?

In so many ways, this is why I do what I do.

"...the crises we face on many fronts are symptomatic of a deeper problem, with more potential repercussions that those of any single cataclysmic event.  They are simply a measure of the vast disparity between our defining of ourselves and our truest essence.  For hundreds of years, we have acted against nature by ignoring our essential connectedness and defining ourselves as separate from our world.  We've reached the point that we can no longer live according to this false view of who we really are.  What's ending is the story we've been told up until now about who we are and how we're supposed to live - and in this ending lies the only path to a better future."

  -Lynne McTaggart (No such thing as a thing, ODE magazine, Aug 2011)  (bold accents are my own)

Every morning I wake with infinite possibilities of what to do with my day.

The good days are the ones where, instead of feeling overwhelmed by a schedule and have-to's and the negative news with which I am barraged, I simply take a breath and connect.

I remember that I am a leader on this path to a better future - for my children and for all of us. 

I remember that I have a responsibility - a joyous if not challenging responsibility - to acknowledge, explore, and experience this powerful connection and to invite you to do the same.

I remember that driving my daughter to school, picking up the dirty clothes left on the floor, brushing my hair, letting the dog outside, creating art, talking with others, ...they are all opportunities to connect, all new beginnings holding potential for remembring that deeper peaceful spirit that flows in every moment.

Today's a good day.

I hope you are having the same.

Namaste.

No You Can't! vs. Yes I Can!

My 7-year son and 5-year daughter were sitting at the dinner table tonight deep in the middle of conversation.  My son had challenged his sister to spell her first, middle, and last name.  

She replied, "I can."  

Him: "So do it."

Her: "No."

Him: "Then you don't know how."

Her: "Yes I do!  I just don't want to right now." 

I stepped in with motherly love before this ended in a drag-down, knock-em-out fight.  In most cases, such a retort means she doesn't know how.  I happen to know that she, in fact, does know how to spell her full name.  I didn't bring this up.  Why she didn't want to share this information with her brother at this point doesn't really matter.  The thoughts that followed this conversation, do.

There are so many situations in which I feel like my daughter.  Someone challenges me directly or indirectly, and my first response is, "YES I CAN!".  

I don't stop to think about whether I should or actually want to.

This isn't about having the power to say No.  I've gotten much better at that, turning down a volunteer opportunity at the kids' school when I'm already over-booked or declining an invite for a get-together when it would mean cramming it in between 5 other things scheduled that night.  I am proudly protective of my space and my Quiet Time.

This IS about me, and you, and our entire society feeling like we need to prove something.  

Especially as a woman and especially, I've found, as a work-at-home mother, I constantly feel as though I need to prove myself.

For some reason, I want it known that I can lead a meeting in an efficient and productive manner.  I want to prove that I can maintain an intellectual conversation with someone constantly immersed in a professional environment.  I want to show that I can pack a healthy lunch with little-to-no waste, make Martha Stewart proud with 30 adorable snacks for the kids' classmates, and run 13.1 miles without stopping, all while maintaining a successful online business and having oodles of time to create with wild passion in my studio.

When I'm not doing one part of this, I hear the little voice behind me scoffing,

"Yeah.  You can't do it."

YES I CAN!  I can do it all!  Isn't that what we've been taught?  If you want something badly enough, you'll find a way to make it happen.

(If this sounds familiar, I'll admit to having written about this before.  Obviously I feel strongly about it.  If it sounds familiar but you don't remember the post...perhaps we are alike in more ways than we know.)

I remember a call I made, many years ago, to a life coach offering a free 20-minute introductory session.  His fees were far beyond what I could afford at that point, so while I was grateful for the session, I didn't want to lead him on.  I acknowledged at the beginning of the call my gratitude but inability to pay for further sessions.  His reply?  That I was blocking my own progression.  That the attitude that I didn't have enough meant I never would.  That if I really wanted it, I'd find a way to make it happen.

Needless to say, that call didn't go well.

Sometimes, we just don't feel like doing something we otherwise know how (or have the ability) to do.

Sometimes, we honestly cannot do it (or do not know how) at that point.

Sometimes, we want to, we know how to, but it simply doesn't align with our deeper truth or the practical aspects of our lives.

Regardless, simply believing that we can and thus should is a terribly harmful belief.

Perhaps instead of thinking about what we might gain by chasing it all, think about what is sacrificed in the process.

In proving that we can afford the session, spell our name, run the race, get the promotion, collect the followers, achieve the goal...we sacrifice what many of us are trying to achieve in the first place:

Happiness.  An ease-paced life.  Living debt-free.  Inner serenity.  Intuitive guidance.  Heart-connected companionship.  Space and time just to be without worrying about what needs to be done.

When we try to prove ourselves, we fill in the blanks in someone else's story.  Think about it: We already know we can or can't.  We already know we want to or don't.  We know what aligns with our calling.  We have enough to do in remembering our own story.  Why worry about correcting someone else's?

What are you sacrificing in your pursuits?  What are you denying yourself in order to accomplish those goals?  What truths of your own are you ignoring in order to satisfy someone else's?

When we are called to prove something, we are invited to an awareness.  We are given an opportunity to look within ourselves and acknowledge our own beliefs and abilities - and asked to express those.  This might mean replying to the request for proof; it might mean denying it.  Either way, we can be grateful.

Next time that voice arises that says, No you can't - whether it is coming from outside or inside - might I recommend just trying out a different course of action.

Don't reply with, Of course I can.

Don't stick out your tongue.

Just smile and say thank you.

Namaste.

Fighting the Trend: Letting Go of What Might Be

Today, I'm letting go.

It isn't easy.

I'm letting go of something I wanted - something I want - in an honest acknowledgement that what is simply does not align with what I want.

This isn't a bad thing.

I know that, quite often, we allow ourselves to get caught up in What Might Be.  The internet and social media is a fantastic source for What Might Be.  We are encouraged to follow our dreams, listen to all of those voices that pull us in a different directions, to just Go For It!

Settling for what is seems like we are cheating ourselves out of a richer experience.

And yes - sometimes we get stuck.  We sink into the mud we've created and believe this is it, this is all there is.  We have to work, pay the bills, so why bother dreaming of more?  I've addressed this before as have thousands who write self-help books and online coaching sites.  We'll all continue to address it because so many need to hear it.

But today, I'm addressing those of us who need to hear the opposite.

I'm talking to those of us who, right now, need to hear that WHAT IS is all we need to acknowledge and address.

I'm addressing those of us who feel overwhelmed in this pursuit of more.  Those of us who are trying to do it all because we are told we CAN if only we work harder, smarter....

I'm telling us to stop sweeping things under the rug, stop putting things in piles, stop saving those things to be read or done LATER.

I'm telling us that a clean house might indicate a boring life, but that we can't use that excuse forever.  It might not be pretty, but perhaps cleaning the house instead of going for the walk or creating art is what we need to do today.

I'm telling us to be FULLY HONEST with what it is that we have on our plates, in our closets, and in our heads.  

What is really going on in your life right now?  Does it reflect who you feel you are?  If not, address the clutter and noise in your life right now.  Do not move onto something else thinking that it will disappear.

You might want to take a different job, a new class, move to a new house, find a new partner, start a new life.  But if that new job/class/house/partner/life is just a way of trying to escape from the current one, the new won't bring any more happiness than the old.  In fact, it might bring more stress as things start to fall apart and you struggle with "THIS AGAIN"?!?

It might be beneficial for you to quit your job.  It just might not be beneficial right now.

Before you try to run to something new or plunk down money for that other class that promises  to fulfill your every desire, take a look around.  Listen.  Feel.  The emails that haven't been answer, the refrigerator that hasn't been cleaned out, the back corner of the closet that still has that stuff piled up (yeah, I know about that)...  how does it make you feel?  The next meal - do you know what it will be?  What have you done for your body today?  Your spirit?  Your family?  How does that make you feel?

Try to sit with what arises.  Then move.  Don't get caught up in dreaming of the life that will be once all this is done.  There will be time for that...but only if you deal with this FIRST.

What Will Be will naturally come when we deal with What Is.

Don't try to rush it.

Namaste. 

Communicating Between Logic and The Unknown

We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything.
 

~Thomas A. Edison

It begins with knowing that I don’t know it all.

It continues to knowing that there is no one who knows it all.

All is not known.

I recently went through an attunement to become a Reiki practitioner (with Jodi Lebrun).  I have long known about Reiki and understood it as something I would like to try.  Going through this attunement (and corresponding learning) doesn’t necessarily mean I will be giving Reiki to others; simply that I want to understand it on a deeper level and wish to practice on myself.

Simultaneously, I did two classes as part of the WILD workshop.  In one (Hali’s), I am working on a painting while exploring my senses…including intuition.  In the other (Tina's), I went through a meditation and received feedback (from Tina) on the meanings behind colors in small bottles that corresponded to my birthdate and this year.

Outside of those experiences the past few days, I’ve had dreams, insights, and “odd” experiences with color and stones that go beyond my understanding.

To say that my understanding of the world and who I am in it has been blown apart is an understatement.

"A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us.  To live is to be slowly born."

~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

THING 1 and THING 2

Allow me to acknowledge that I grew up in a VERY logical household.  (One of my favorite things to do was to have logic debates with my father.)  In college, I started exploring alternative viewpoints (including paganism and beliefs that alluded to the “unity” of all beings).  However, all explorations were done through the lens of the almighty Logic.  Even if part of me believed it, if I couldn’t make mental sense of it, I eventually let the belief go.

Over the past ten years or so, I’ve revisited various practices and beliefs that aren’t necessarily steeped in logic.  I’ve studied holistic wellness, yoga, Aryurveda, transpersonal psychology, many religious beliefs and traditions, meditation, and dabbled in energy work (similar to Reiki).  My creative growth as an Awareness Artist has relied heavily on releasing many logical ideas and trusting my own intuition.

This recent exposure, however, is by far the closest I’ve come to surrendering to what I do not know.  And it is SO uncomfortable.

Many would understand this as a battle between head and heart.  But in explaining it here, I want to avoid using those terms.  They often come laden with their own connotations (like thinking heart is “good”, for example).  So for the sake of the conversation, we’re going to refer to Thing 1 and Thing 2.

Thing 1 tells me that everything is connected even if we can’t see it.  Thing 1 says that everything is some form of energy – including colors.  Thing 1 says even I am energy and while traditional science can’t explain it, things such as distance healing, chakras, and energy fields are just as real as the things I can touch and see.  Thing 1 says I am missing out on so much of life by limiting myself to what can be proven.  Thing 1 says things are real because I feel them to be so.

Thing 2 says bullshit.  Thing 2 acknowledges I might not know everything, but to try and make up some theory to explain what I don’t know is just being lazy.  Thing 2 says sure, energy might be real, but these “new age-y” trends are just attractively-packed ways to circumvent true understanding.  Thing 2 says question, question, question – and if you can’t find an answer, don’t believe it.  Thing 2 says things are real because I know them to be so.

At this point, you are probably gravitating more towards Thing 1 or Thing 2.  Or, like me, you might be feeling the pull from both.

The crucial thing to understand here is that there is no right and there is no wrong.  Thing 1 (i.e. the “heart”)’s reasons are perfectly valid.  So are Thing 2 (i.e the “head”)’s.  Some fields (like science or religion) will try to take one side or the other and base their findings in these reasons.  But let’s remember: We do not know it all.  Because of this simple fact, there is no way to know for sure if logic or feeling or both or neither are guiding us towards “THE truth”.

EXPERIENTIAL EVIDENCE

Letting go of right and wrong truly takes away gravity.  Suddenly there is no pull towards a ground and we are left to decide where and how we will ground ourselves.

I’ve been in Rumi’s field beyond right and wrong for some time, exploring how to make life work while hanging out here.  I try not to judge any point of view – just to experience it.  This recent experience with Reiki, color, and sensual exploration (not to mention other synchronous occurrences that aren’t able to be explained but have had profound impact on my life) has me spinning in circles.

While preparing for, during, and ever since my Reiki attunement, my hands have been buzzing.  I feel the tingle on the surface even now as I type this.  The color reading awoke memories within that I’ve not had for years.  Working on the sense-focused painting, I was swept away into another realm of existence where everything but the smell or taste or touch was whisked away…and I simply WAS the sensual energy I was experiencing.  A stone I recently came across (which I subsequently made into a necklace) has stirred within me feelings of peace and universal connectedness that are deeply affecting yet beyond logical explanation. 

The logic part of me, Thing 2, is cringing is I type this.  And yet, I know what I experienced.  I can try to come up with logical reasons (I stimulated some neurons, for example)….but WHY?  The more I try to back my experiences with logical reason the more I strengthen the divide between feeling and truth.  I further support that all experiences must have some basis in logic…..even though logically I know that I don’t know everything.

If I follow this path, this means I can only experience what I know.  Everything that I experience that I don’t know (i.e. can’t explain) must not be true.  In this way, I box myself forever into those things my logical brain can grasp.  But even that logical brain knows that I will be missing out on some things if I live this way.  Even it knows its own limitations.

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.
~Donald Rumsfeld

KEEPING OPEN THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION

If you are still with me at this point, I commend you. 

This is not something easy to process…and yet, Thing 1 and Thing 2 are the drivers of our experiences.  It is crucial that we at least acknowledge they are there.

As I delve deeper into Reiki, creative awareness, stones, and energy work (and I promise you, I will be), I will be facing my own challenges.  Logic and whatever is beyond logic simply must work together.  I will not discount either one.  Easy to say – nearly impossible to practice.

Simultaneously, I deal with what they think.  Even acknowledging that I have experienced the tingling deliciousness that is Reiki and wear a stone that taps into an inner awareness means I lose the attention (and respect?) of those who are squarely in the Logic camp.  I’m not as worried about "their" approval or disapproval as I am about losing a potential line of communication.

Because we are all in this together.  Thing 1’ers and Thing 2’ers – whether the heart guides us or the head, we’re all bumping into one another on this earth.  If we stop communicating with one another, we have no hope for survival – spiritual or physical. 

We’ll destroy ourselves and one another in the pursuit of RIGHT.

So now I ask you:  Whether you believe crystals are just stones in the earth or that they hold strong powers, whether you believe Reiki is some feel-good form that relies on the placebo effect or that it is a proven way to balance and heal an aspect of being that has been too-long-ignored, whether you believe that it is better to live life driven by the head or the heart, please keep listening. 

Listen even when someone else tells you something although you immediately want to dismiss it.

Listen even when your intuition speaks up although you immediately question it.

Listen even when logic demands attention although it's too hard or you're too tired or you simply want to ignore it.

We don’t know everything.

When we think that we do, or judge anything as beyond-doubt Right or Wrong, we confine ourselves to doing as we’ve always done and being as we’ve always been.  And given the trend of our world, this way of being is not sustainable.

So I invite you (implore you?): Stop.  Listen.  Breathe.  Communicate with yourself and others without judgment.

Let’s see where this gets us.

(And if you are interested in exploring a bit more, registration is still open for WILD and, as of the time of this post, there is still one more spot open in the Spirited Reiki course!) 

Namaste.