Don't Listen To Me.

There is so much advice out there.  Even mine.

And my, the things we believe.  Oh, how we all listen.

We might listen to that which tells us to differently that we are already doing.  Because, of course, what you're doing isn't working otherwise you wouldn't be seeking advice.  And if the advice tells you do to differently than what you are doing - then of course that must be the answer!

Or, we cling to that which tells us that we are on the right path.  We nod our head and share and tweet it wildly so everyone know WE are in the right and that others definitely agree.  (You might as well agree too.)

Of course,....

NEVER give away your art for free.  Donate your art, your voice.

Believe that you are enough.  Believe you can always be better, stronger, faster, smarter.

Dance in the rain.  Stay inside and stay dry.

Be right.  Be kind.

Be happy with what you have.  Never settle.

Use Instagram.  Don't bother.

Use Pinterest.  Stay far, far away from Pinterest.

Quit your job and live the life of your dreams.  Stay in your job and make it work.

Blog.  Don't waste your time.

Start listening.  Don't listen. 

Read this.

Believe me.

Or don't.

Namaste.

Lessons From A Media Fast

I am returning, deeply changed, from a 5-day media fast (as part of the Wild Elephant Project).

I did not completely break from all forms of media, but I did challenge myself enough to create profound realizations.  (You can learn more about my specific practice HERE.)

I am almost certain you can benefit from my experience.  Here's why.

I am addicted to my habits of mental stimulation.

I know I am not alone.  

When waiting for my son to arrive on the bus or food to arrive at a restaurant, I always reached for my phone to check for new emails or Facebook updates.  If my phone was unavailable, I would search out a menu to read or start scribbling ideas for LifeUnity.  While eating breakfast, I'd constantly have something there to read or for my eyes to scan over.  I need(ed) something to keep my mind busy.

Sound familiar?

When at home, I find myself constantly checking Facebook, clicking from one website to the next (often without fully reading the site and just leaving the tab open so I'll look at it later), moving from one productive thing to the next distraction.

Distraction from what?  The discomfort of not being mentally stimulated.  The angst of realizing what a noisy, jumbled mess my mind is.  The pain of acknowledging how little control I (currently) have over that mess.

While reading a book this past week (one of the forms of media I allowed myself during the media fast), I would notice my mind wondering.  Out of instinct, I reached away from the book.  It doesn't really matter for what I was reaching - the laptop, my phone, a drink or a bite of food.  

What matters is that I couldn't stay attended to the moment.

I couldn't focus my attention for more than a few minutes.  And when I was focused on something, it was often out of habit - not conscious choice.  

Now, this may not seem like a big deal (i.e. worthy of attention) to some people.  After all, we are so used to living this way...and everyone else is doing it...so why bother trying to change?  

There are always consequences to actions - whether they are consciously chosen actions or not.  

Living  in such a sleep-walking, constantly distracted manner is not a sustainable way to live.  If we are "lucky", we may schlop our way through our days and find our way to the grave, but the earth and our children will pay the price.  If we are "unlucky", we may be forced to face the soul-draining repercussions of our actions ourselves.

Regardless of the consequences, if we truly want to live FREELY, we must acknowledge those chains that keep us bound.

We might think we are making the choice to watch the t.v. show or scroll through Facebook or eat that second helping.  But try to stop doing it and see what resistance shows up.  More likely than not, you will find some part of you that fights, that simply wants to be comfortable in the habit...no matter how deadening the consequences might be. 

This is where I am.  This realization, along with others I haven't yet found the words for, has started a change in the entire structure of what I call my "business"....not to mention the changes these perspectives have created in my day-to-day routine.

I don't want to offer any further hints as to what is coming.  It is enough to sit with these realizations for now.

I invite you to challenge yourself as well.  Whether it is a media fast, a job evaluation, a 5-year plan or simply putting down that muffin before you take the next bite, I encourage you to see where your habits lie.  Just see.  Just acknowledge.  No pressure to change.  

Then maybe - just maybe - a bit more freedom to decide what you do next.

Namaste.

Is Facebook Toxic? (Post from April 2011)

After all of this reflecting on time, I thought I'd head back a year to see what was going on with LifeUnity in April 2011.

I found a post that is just as timely today as it was back then....if not more so.

In relation to this: NEXT WEEK I WILL BE TAKING A MEDIA BREAK.  This means I will not be posting (unless I get some scheduled in between then and now) nor replying to comments until next weekend.

I am doing this as part of the Wild Elephant Project - trying another practice to mindfully find my way through this world.

I hope you enjoy - feel free to comment below with your thoughts!!  Namaste.

IS FACEBOOK TOXIC?

Originally posted April 11, 2011

I'll be honest.  These blog posts are hard to write these days.  It seems like everytime I sit down at the computer, my mind goes...............

yeah.  that.

Perhaps I've used up all of the words in my frequent journaling.  Or perhaps the words just don't exist.

Regardless, to continue to blog I need to embrace the words and trust that they will convey at least part of the meaning and awareness into which I move.

Word by word, breath by breath...

Allow me to begin with a story.  

Today I snuck away from the computer.  Sadly I still had my phone (with online access) by my side, but I was very mindfully outdoors with the kids.  We enjoyed a blissful day at the park, stopped for ice cream at a local establishment and for lemonade sold by two neighborhood kids on the way home.  

I did this even as emails piled up and requests went ignored.  It was a choice I made - yes, I spent time with the kids but I also did not connect with friends and strengthen connections I highly value online.  Not good, not bad.

Everyone has their own opinions on the online world, particularly of social networking.  How much someone should be on there, whether the connections made are "real", whether the social circles are valuable or distracting.  Our personal values help us to determine how much we engage with the online world (or how guilty we feel when we take a day of to head to the park and don't engage).

What I came to was a very important belief:

The online circles, Facebook, Twitter, etc. aren't unhealthy.  It is when we consume them to define who we are that they become toxic.

Yes, I am a blogger.  I am a Facebook and Twitter participant.  I am part of online social circles.  But that is not who I am.  

I am also a mother, an artist, a yogini, a photographer.  But that is not who I am.

I recognize that "I" am not my stories, not my titles, not my roles.  I am the nonjudgmental awareness of the experience of these things.

 That is a lot to take in, yes, but so important:  

I am the nonjudgmental awareness of the experience of these things.

How esoteric this idea seems - and yet how very applicable it is to every conversation occuring these days!

We all experince guilt over what we are or are not doing.  We all debate the questions, depending on what seems relevant to us:  

Is it better to turn off comments on your blog or make time to respond?  It is better to find a way to be "stay-at-home" parent or to provide for them in every way that you can (including financial)?  Is Facebook (or Twitter) a valuable use of time to connect with others (and grow a business) or is it a waste of time that distracts the user?

The thing is - whatever we decide is ok.  We are to experience it, not to judge it.  We are also to not judge another for the decision that they make.  

And that, knowing this, we will still feel guilty and still judge - ourselves and others?  That's ok too.  That is a part of the experience.  

Slowly, through practice in whatever form it takes, we move more and more into the awareness.  We remember that the esoteric idea - that we are the nonjudgmental awareness of the experience of these things - really is applicable to the situation where we feel like flipping off the person who is tailgating us and the situation where our inbox piles up with emails and we simply feel overwhelmed and the times that we feel absolutely, completely drained...and the times that we feel aimlessly inspired.

We remember that Facebook, that any online or offline portrayal of our "self", that the role we share, that the actions we take that day to support (or sneak away from) that role ...is not unhealthy.  

That our days only become toxic when we try to define ourselves by these roles and interactions, that we only start harming ourselves when we judge and forget....

Word by word, breath by breath, our existence continues as it is.

May your practice - yoga, meditation, Facebook, science, parenting, cursing, drinking, painting, smiling, or whatever form it takes - continue to take you further into awareness...

Namaste.